Dear Npower…

Dear Npower,

Thanks for your letter this week. Well I know the letter wasn’t from you, it was on your behalf. Even so, I thought it would be good to let you know how things are going.

I’ve never really had strong feelings about gas and electricity, though I know it’s really important to you.

I know you really care about gas and electricity, so much so you need to make sure our meters are ALL OK. They’re dangerous things meters, so they need to be safe.

So I understand why the letter you sent me yesterday was so important. You need to check my gas meter. Ok. If I don’t let you check my gas meter you’ll get a warrant and charge me a minimum of £150. Err… Not ok.

You see, when you sent me a similar letter back in June, saying you’d tried to check my meter and couldn’t since no one was home, I immediately called up and booked a check up. I’m a good boy, and wouldn’t want a) a fine, and b) an exploding gas meter.

My allocated appointment came around swiftly and, having taken the morning off work, met your man at the front door. “Oh hello” he probably said. “I don’t need to come into your home as – look – your meter is outside and I’ve got a key”, he added in similar words.

Oh Npower! You were doing so well. Ok, that’s only against the low expectations set by the fiasco of (trying to) give meter readings when I first switched to you. But here are two occasions of some grade A incompetence.

First, you really should have known my meter was outside (thanks for a wasted morning off btw).

Second, the first letter said your agents – now, that’s a nice job title. Sounds all James Bond. Fighting to liberate hidden away gas meters – sorry… your agents had left a couple of cards asking me to call you.

A couple! Wow, there’s now way I could miss a couple is there? Unless maybe no cards were ever left. I like to think maybe they popped along and saw the meter was outside and realised there was no need to leave a card. Job done! Though I know in reality they probably never came.

Still what can you expect from an energy provider with customer service so bad you have to give away free energy. Sorry, that’s probably still a bit raw isn’t it?

Then to send the letter again? My online account even says June 9th was “… the last time our metering agent visited to make sure your meter was safe.” So what’s happened here? Was it a Monday morning? We’ve all been there… 😉

Now, I’m pretty good with my bills (money stuff is kinda my job) so I know a little about what’s what. But I can imagine quite a few people would be pretty worried about the idea of your stooges breaking in to their home – and having to pay for the privilege to boot. Seems a bit harsh, especially seeing as you actually didn’t need “my help” to see the gas meter you’d already seen.

I know not to bother calling you direct – you’re a busy multi-national energy giant with bigger fish to fry – so I gave your debt management agency Richburns a bell.

The heplful lady sighed when I explained the situation. “Not another one” is something she probably thought but I have no evidence of. She took my number and promised to call me back once she’d spoken to you.

Of course once she reached you, it was all ok! You DID have a record of the visit, and of the outside meter!

She called off the dogs (not actual dogs, though I’m pretty sure if you trained dogs they could probably drop off those “You were out cards”. You can have that idea for free).

Hurrah! My front door can stay attached to the wall!! I won’t have to pay £150!! My gas meter is STILL safe!! Phew.

Anyway, that’s what’s been going on with me. (Sorry – I really should have asked how you are? It must be pretty tough with all those nasty people telling you to cut your prices!)

Next up? Well I’m fixed in a pretty one-sided relationship until May next year, but I’m hoping I’ll find someone new to look after my energy needs without being so abusive. Some of these new kids on the block look pretty good, especially with their low prices. What can I say, I’m a cheap date!

Yours,

Andy

p.s. Did you take note of the good customer service from your debt agency? She did what she promised by sorting it out and calling me back. Maybe see if they can give your own team a tip or two?