Man Buns, snore straps and duster slippers – just some of the bizarre products you’ve been missing out on over at Groupon.
The likes of Groupon, Living Social and Wowcher haven’t been having the best of times. Amazon Local and Barclays’s Bespoke Offers both shut down last year, while there are just so many emails with so many deals I know most of my friends send the messages straight to junk.
But that means they’ve missed out on beauties like the ones listed below. For your amusement, I’ve trawled through for the weirdest, pointless and scary things you can buy on Groupon. At the bottom, I’ve also listed a few deals that are actually worth considering.
But first…
The Man Bun
Seriously. For those who don’t have their own locks to look this ridiculous, you can buy a man bun attachment to whack on the top of your head.
It’s so mind bogglingly awful it actually distracts you from the guy’s moustache, side burns and shirt.
Sadly these are now sold out.
Duster slippers
If you’re always dragging your feet, then these duster slippers might – might – do something for your home as you drudge from one room to the next.
But for actual cleaning? I’m pretty sure the chances of them working are 0%. Though with over 40 – yes 40 – bought, some people thought they were worth a punt!
Men’s novelty underwear
Ever fancied being a male stripper? Well now there’s a deal for novelty male underwear to help you fulfil your career change. And best of all you can be THE FIRST TO BUY! Yes, no one else has the dream of being like Magic Mike, so get in quick.
You can choose between a rip off thong, tuxedo jockstrap (?), thong with zipper, and a magnifier thong.
I’m not making this up.
Blue toilet paper
Plain old white Andrex? BORING. Brighten up your trips to the toilet with this bright blue loo roll.
You’ll be pleased to know the small print says it’s suitable for ANY household, and the paper is colourfast for its intended use.
If novelty paper on a cardboard tube is your thing, you can also stock up on TWELVE rolls of Star Wars kitchen paper. Actually, that could be pretty awesome…
Snore Straps
I’ve never heard of these, but essentially a snore strap is a contraption you fasten around your head to stop your mouth opening when you’re in bed.
It all sounds like something a certain Christian Grey would be in to. Not that I’ve read those books, but you know, they’re everywhere.
Valentine’s message on a Piccadilly Circus screen
Nothing says “I love you” like a 20 second public declaration on a giant neon screen surrounded by tourists leaving Lillywhites disappointed that Piccadilly Circus is a) nothing like Times Square and b) there’s no actual circus.
If you are going to do this (and you can watch a live stream if you can’t make it to London), please PLEASE don’t make the mistake Groupon have on their promo pic. It’s Valentine’s not Valentines.
Oh, you can also enter a competition to have your dating profile in the same spot!
“How did you and Daddy meet?”
“Well, when I saw his face on a giant electronic billboard I knew he was the man for me”.
Pure poetry.
Some decent Groupon deals
Among all the filler, hiding behind these random offerings, there are actually some decent things worth considering,
First up is an e-learning course. The topic doesn’t really matter as any by e-Careers make you eligible for an NUS Card, and hundreds of student discounts. I’ve written more about this, and picked some top deals in my article Cash Hack: Great trick to get an NUS student discount card, even when you’re not a student.
I’m not always convinced by the value of Tastecard, but if you are after one and know you’ll use it, £34 for a 12 month membership isn’t a bad deal.
Lastly, f you’re heading out for some cheap drinks, you can often pick up some low-priced cocktails to share with friends, and I’ve been known to pick up some decent lunch deals (when I’ve not bought my own).
Just don’t buy the man bun.